SchoolFinder Blog

Bullying

It was not long ago that I mentioned Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in my How to Keep Students Excited About School article. One of the thoughts that Dr. Maslow posits is that if we don’t feel a sense of security we cannot fulfill higher functions such as learning.

The other day I was watching a bit of Good Morning America, thankfully I have a digital video recorder or I would have had to watch the entire hour including the weather and traffic several times. Anyway, Patrick Kohlmann, 13 year old from Udall Road Middle School, created a video about his struggles with bullying.

Like many kids who are bullied he asked for help from his parents and the school, but he didn’t get any help. I can understand, bullying can be very difficult to stop. You will find one solution for just about every kid who is a bully. Of course some idea for dealing with bullies are better than others. Most of the time the answer is tell an adult. What happens when the adults can’t do anything about the bulling?

Most of the time the kids who get bullied the most are those who are different from most other kids. People are picked on because they are poor, lack social skills, have low self esteem, or are just physically weak. I have a friend who, though much bigger than the average kid his age, was bullied because his Asperger Syndrome made social skills difficult for him. This is in no way an excuse for bullying behavior. Watching Patrick’s video I have a feeling he isn’t being bullied because he is somehow different, unless it is because he is smarter or more talented.

The problem is most kids who get bullied are being bullied because the bully knows they are already at a disadvantage for some reason. The bully intuitively knows that, because of the situation, the person, the environment, or what ever, most likely the victim will not fight back or if he does he will lose.

Can you imagine if my friend with Aspergers fought back. You might think the bullying would stop. It wouldn’t, it would get worse. In his situation the bully’s don’t physically bully him, they tease him. If he fought back physically, the first time he might have caught someone, but after that the bully’s would make sure to only tease him where a fight wouldn’t last long. Then they could not only tease him about fighting, but he would be constantly in danger of being suspended and being labeled as the trouble maker by his teachers.

Bullying doesn’t always end. It can go on for years even with the concerned proactive help of parents and school administrators. Try the suggestions at kidshealth.org, to my eye they seem to be pretty good.

Don’t give the bully a chance.

Stand tall and be brave.

Feel good about you.

Get a buddy (and be a buddy).

Ignore the bully.

Stand up for yourself.

Don’t bully back.

Don’t show your feelings.

Tell an adult.

I especially like the get a buddy be a buddy idea. You may still get bullied, but every load is easier to take if you have a friend to share the burden. That buddy can be more than a protection from the bully, he can be the one to remind you that you are not alone.